This year was going to MY YEAR! I started off the year on keto – down 30 pounds, had a bonus trip to Disney World, and was going to work from home the entire summer. It was going to be GREAT! Well, that did not turn out the way it was supposed to.
COVID-19 had different plans and in March, we were in quarantine with the rest of the world. The hubs and I were both working from home which was an adjustment. The supermarkets were crowded but the aisles were scarce. There was a limit on meats, dairy and frozen food items. After seeing this, the hubs and I decided to come off keto since we didn’t think we would be able to maintain it. I mean, our keto diet consisted of a ton of meat and cheese! So we got what we wanted – hello, entenmann’s!
The world we knew was completely changing and in our area, the numbers were scary. Our hands were sore from washing our hands so much. We couldn’t see family or friends. We couldn’t hug our parents. Then I was laid off. This was all by April 1st – 2020 kicked our ass.
I wish I did something more constructive with the time I had from April to now, November 10th. I started, quit, restarted, quit and restarted many diets and workout programs. But to be completely honest, the last few months I felt lost. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t worried about a job. I figured I’d take this time to figure out what I really wanted. Well, I still have no idea what I want to do. Is it writing? Maybe! Is it work with Beachbody? Possibly! Is it make polymer clay earrings? It’s been a whole week of making them – maybe I need more practice!
The one thing that I’m determined to focus on for the rest of the year is my health. This battle I have with myself about how much I weigh needs to be over. For years now, my focus has been what I weigh, what I should or should not be eating, how I look, and how did I get here. I’m so done! So I’m putting an end to this once and for all. First step is going keto! When I came off of keto, I went full into carbs. And I mean FULL. I wanted to have everything that I didn’t have plus I thought our world was ending – might as well go full force!
Clearly, that didn’t work out for me and I gained all the weight I fought so hard to loose. So I decided to do workout programs, but I wasn’t watching I was eating. I kind of ate healthy, kind of didn’t, and drank all the beers. But the worst part about it is I would start over each week. Monday-Wednesday I would be good but by Thursday or Friday, I was back eating crap. Self-control was not in my vocabulary and I felt awful. I felt like a failure because I lost my job and I couldn’t even maintain a healthy lifestyle.
There has been a lot of heartbreak this year so far too. And I don’t have the distraction of working. My daily tasks are as follows: waking up, work out, eat healthy, and drink water. Which sounds wonderful but really hard when you feel like your life is going no where fast. I should be thankful for this time, but instead, I’m worried about what comes next. Netflix and I have become best friends, and TikTok, I’m obsessed.
What has changed for me to do a complete 180? Get back onto keto, join a gym for the first time in years, and start writing again? Well, I was here, in this exact same place a year ago. Almost a year ago, I started my keto journey the first time. I’m EXACTLY where I was. I weigh the same, I feel the same and I’m struggling. This time though, I have the gift of no schedule. If I commit to three months of keto, I bet I can start to feel good again.
Checking in on here is going to become a more regular thing. I need to hold myself accountable and getting all this out there helps!
Until next time, stay into ketosis!!!
Stronger than the Last Mile 